wwmtmd

i knew that this year was going to be hard, and i've prepared myself by telling myself that i will eat right, spend my extra money on small luxuries (commercial rap songs on itunes, hand lotion, tiny bottles of jack daniels, a cup with a ship on it), and, whenever life gets to be a little too much, ask myself: what would mary tyler moore do? the answer is, inevitably, cry a little bit, then throw her hat up into the air while yelling "she's gonna make it after all! doo-doo-doo-doo! doo-doo-doo-doo!" and then listen to some commercial rap, and think about how she is probably the best white dancer in boston, or at least in the apartment, at least if her roommates aren't home.

today was a hard day. i overslept (but wasn't late, i just felt irresponsible). there was a dead possum in the road on the way to the train stop - that made me sad, but what made it even worse was that when i was younger, i would cry when i saw roadkill: i would imagine that they were just trying to get back to their little rodent families, and i would silently let the tears pour down my face, hoping that if i didn't make a big deal out of it i wouldn't look like i had been crying when we got to where we were going. but today, i just kept eating my peach and walking and thinking about what a bad person i am. then it was raining, and i had to interview with like ten other people for a job i've been doing for two years, and i listened to way too much arcade fire. also, i'm used to coming home and getting a hug. not that i don't think either of my roommates, or even my clearly lonely irish immigrant neighbor would give me a hug if i wanted one, but i don't actually want to touch very many of those people and i'm used to hugging someone i like to touch, like, a lot. usually all it takes is a hug to make me feel better, and like less of an inhuman monster for eating while walking past a dead possum, but from now on i am going to have to depend on this:

ACK OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS A STATUE?!?! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL ME!!?!?!

what really sucks is, it is in twin cities and i will probably never, ever go there. unless i achieve my ultimate dream: a cross-country road trip that takes like two years where i just go everywhere i want to see and everywhere i know someone and stay there until i know how i feel about it. but, no one ever gets what they want, so i guess i will never, ever see this statue in person. GREAT.