chainin' up in b-ham

the one talking about "pre-hookup operations" is one of my two new bffs.

living an an old city and hanging out with superstitious people is doing things to me. i myself am pretty superstitious, but also extremely sensitive to the "common sense" of those around me, so usually i can avoid totally freaking out by just engaging in conversation and subtly bringing up something that's terrifying me, which, when the other person laughs it off, becomes mundane. but in the last couple days i've heard real ghost stories told by someone who really believes in them, and when i look around, no one is laughing. i'm starting to see things moving out of the corners of my eyes, and i've caught myself considering the run-and-jump when coming back to bed in the dark. it's actually pretty exciting, like a layer is getting peeled away from either me or reality and the things i've suspected have been there all along, but i've seen all the movies and i'm ready for them.

isn't it weird how when someone has a crush on someone else, the last thing in the world they want is for that person to find out? i mean, secretly, they've got to want that because that's the only way progress is going to get made, but it's also like, if they find out, then you lose. not that i'm going through that right now - i just remember it from high school and how it's pretty much crippling.