living a life of the mind: the deets

so many incredible things have happened. how can i explain them to you on the internet in enough detail for you to be able to relive them in your head, and still get to bed pretty soon?

the reason i haven't "blogged" (comfortable enough to use it as a verb, not comfortable enough to do so without quotation marks) too much lately is because i had a presentation in advanced research, for one of the most terrifying professors i've ever encountered, yesterday evening. first of all, it went ok. the content was, i feel, exactly what it should have been, but when i wrote it out i imagined myself speaking it as my usual gregarious self, and when i got up in front of the class i was a deer in the headlights. my hands shook, my voice cracked; i'm used to giving presentations at a school where you can come to class naked if you want to (no one did, but you could have), and this professor expects a level of professionalism that i'm not sure i'm capable of. so, it went ok.

after class, i went up to talk to him about office hours stuff while my classmates gathered in a corner to discuss previous arrangements to go out for a beer. i saw this happening, and once our negotiations were over, the following conversation actually occurred, like, in reality:
me: "so . . . these guys are all going out for a beer right now, but they're too shy to ask you. would you like to come?"
najarian: "haha, are you sure it wouldn't cramp your style?"
me: "haha, no, of course not. we'd be honored."
najarian: "well then sure. you're the brave one - jodie foster would play you in the movie."
me, thinking about how incredible it would be if someone made a movie about our advanced research class: "well, i'd actually prefer wynona ryder. she needs a job."
najarian: "haha, you're right. how generous."

then, i chased down our classmates to ask where we were going, and he said he would meet us there. i was the hero of the bc shuttle. we couldn't go to the bar they'd chosen, because someone had forgotten their id, so instead we went to applebee's (i know, right?!) and the kids at my table and i proceeded to make him laugh so hard he spit out his beer, tell a bunch of stories which we wisely giggled at and then absorbed for later sucking-up references, and let us pay for his beer. incredible.

also yesterday i got a position as a writing tutor, which, in addition to supplementing my measly income as an administrative assistant to the dean of arts and sciences (more on those incredible office politics later), is great experience and will look awesome when i apply for the teaching fellowships over which everyone in my class is in secret competition. except for me, james, and carolann (look them up on facebook if you haven't already), because we are bff's and i would sacrifice my chance at the goblet of fire to help them if they twisted their ankles. except james totally doesn't need it because he has a scholarship. but some dude yelled out his car window that he "love[s] lesbos, totally love[s] them" at me and carolann today, so clearly i would do anything to help her if her ankle was twisted, including vulgar hand gestures at a dude. also, i'm not going back to apple. i don't like working in retail, the commute is an hour and a half, and if i'm away from my post at the library for more than 12 hours i have an existential crisis.

ALSO the landlord painted our apartment today. totally, completely rad - gail (my roommate, also a significant presence on facebook) and i are planning some real, true, girls-trying-stuff-on parties in celebration. yes, they totally happen, even for me.

and instead of coming home and doing reading, i went to the bar with the finnegan's wake reading group after class. let me tell you right now, even if you absolutely aren't attracted to him, there is nothing in the world like being complemented by an italian man.

and, much like the boat cruise, i've been constantly going over the things i'm going to wear, say, and do on the dance floor at carolann's party tomorrow night. i figure, yeah, the boat cruise didn't live up to my imagination, but i am in my element at a house party. anyone dressed up looks too dressed up, and if there's anything i can dress for, it's not dressing up. also, there will be a keg, and some people that i'm interested in yelling witty things at over the music. and i'm getting a haircut tomorrow, and i've promised myself a sparks, and it's like 80F this week as opposed to last week when i seriously considered wearing mittens and thought about nothing but how screwed i was in this completely alien climate. what could go wrong?

well, clearly, plenty, and i will keep you updated on my good and bad decisions, although mostly the way i phrase them will make them sound awesome. i f*cking love you all.