sometimes i wish i had an enormous dog, the biggest you can imagine, pachyderm-sized

i guess maybe not pachyderm-sized, because how much would a dog that size eat, really.

so i found out tonight that i am stretched a little thinner than i thought. gail sent me a text message around six informing me that her coworker had not been fired. a little after seven, i got home to an empty apartment and picked up the mail from inside the door. there was some junk, and a bank statement for gail that had the words "behind you" written next to her name. i looked at it for a couple seconds and then just FLIPPED OUT. i walked around the apartment and tracked mud allll over the floor, called gail who was at work and so didn't pick up, and then called my mom who told me to go to the cops. i did, and when i got there one of them gave me a hug because i was shaking so hard. no matter what rappers say, the brighton police are some pretty nice guys. they told me that gail would have to bring the letter back in since she filed the initial report. so i walked over to the hospital (crying and calling almost everyone i know, at least everyone with a car or who is taller than me except for james because he is still technically kind of an invalid), where an operator pulled gail off the short-staffed floor. gail thanked me for caring enough to completely SPAZ OUT, but also told me that that is just something the post office writes on our mail sometimes and brian has been getting letters that say that since before we moved in.

what is my problem. maybe it just gets dark too early. please don't tell my grandparents about this. they will move in with me. as fun as that would be for a couple of days, i would still like to try taking care of myself for a while.

i guess i can never believe in my horoscope again. oh well.