new motto: asleep before midnight

i am really getting into this early bedtime thing. ok, so yesterday i went to bed early because i played an unfortunate game of never have i ever in which i had done pretty much everything and made my own little pbr pyramid, but still, before midnight! this used to be unheard of! and it's happening again tonight! i can't wait until it starts translating into getting up at a decent and respectable hour, although showering when i wake up instead of before bed has been a pretty good incentive so far because it means going from a warm place (bed) into another one (shower) instead of facing the temperature immediately upon waking. also my hair is better, generally. so there's that.

this week i wore the same shirt every day, and no one noticed. i don't know if that's sad or really liberating. i used to do it all the time in portland, but that was portland. things are different now and i'd better start getting used to it.

this week i got a decent if confusing grade on a paper, had my weekly email comment printed out and passed around to the class by the professor, and been told that i am in the top three in a class that i have felt was beyond me for the entire semester so far. also, i registered for three more classes that i am genuinely pretty much ecstatic about taking. things are just fine, thank you. as long as i don't think about money, i'm happy.

also i told someone last night that i would pick jordan catalano over brian krakow every day of every year. what is the point of making out with someone if you don't like them? none. there is no point. however, being 1. an english student and 2. a big nerd, i'm pretty sure my definition of "jordan catalano" is significantly different and probably closer to "brian krakow" than the majority's.

new bedtime: eleven p.m. no exceptions!

here is a boston dilemma: at intersections, if you press the "walk" button, eventually all the lights will turn red and you will be able to walk in any direction. this is not something i'm used to; in the cities i've lived in, the walk signal allows you to walk when the traffic driving parallel to you has a green light, and people turning left or right just have to look out. what does a good person do at intersections in boston? is it better to press the walk signal and wait and then make all the cars stop at once, or is it more polite to just not press it at all and walk when the traffic parallel to you is going, even though this might not be the safest but also doesn't result in anyone (except turners) waiting for you to shuffle across the street? mostly i do the second one and go as fast as i can, but last night someone else pressed it and i walked diagonally across the street and it felt pretty good to just be out there in the middle of the intersection.

bugs i rescued today: 2 earthworms, but it's early yet

things i've seen today so far:
one friend
two mixed race couples
one DELICIOUS bagel
the sun
two vespas, one with a rider so tall he had to hold his legs out to the side because they wouldn't fit
the end of my advanced research reading for the week
two stomped earthworms. i failed them.
a million confusing emails

now i'm on my way to the cemetery to hang out and do some reading. sometimes it's really nice, and i'm content with the amount of respect i have for the dead, and sometimes i think about something creepy and just book it out of there. last week i left one of my books and had to go back for it after dark because i needed it for class. i let it slip that i go there sometimes when i can't get anything done because too many people are talking to or around me, and my dad and meaux looked at me like i'm insane. but they look at me like that a lot - this weekend was no exception - and i was proud of myself for just pretending like i didn't notice instead of backpedaling and stammering like i usually do.

i'm changing my fbook status to something a little risqué, but really true and also an ll cool j quote. will that be considered daring, or just vulgar? let's find out.

i am a jerk

ok, so i just found a ladybug in the toilet. what was i supposed to do? it couldn't swim! so i fished it out (not with my hands, i know that's how you get pinkeye) and brought it outside. it tried to climb up my shirt, it tried to go to sleep in my palm, it tried everything except getting on the leaf i was trying to get it to go on, so of course i was talking to it, maybe even shouting at it a little because i was cold and had to get back to work. so i'm standing there holding a branch and shouting at the middle of my hand and who should walk by but the most well-dressed, perfectly coiffed person of approximately my own age that i know. "you're a crazy," she said. "i am not!" i said. "i just like nature a little!" just a little, though.

it's true, i am really good at scrabulous

my dad and stepmom/step significant other/w/e visited this weekend and they told me that i have to be good at something in life. i said, "i'm smart! i'm in grad school! what more do you want!" they looked at me like they had been joking and i just freaked out out of nowhere, which is a little bit true because they probably had just been joking and i had been spacing out instead of listening, but they also tend to just toss out things like that without considering consequences like FEELINGS. my dad once told me, "deird, you could be pretty if you just tried." that was like ten years ago, and i still whine about it when i'm drunk. i'm not drunk now, i just think about it a lot, ok?!?!

anyway, i didn't think they would accept "scrabble" as a thing to be good at, and i know from previous experience that they would look at me like i was an alien if i tried to talk to them about being good at school, so i just said teaching people things. that's pretty much true, and they went with it.

today whoever is in charge of things is really on top of it. i got an email about registration (thursday, my alarm is already set with a reminder about why i'm getting up early), one about exams (i'm not thinking about it right now), and one about the winter ball (hopefully not thinking about it again, ever). it's a lot to digest and i'm having a silent freakout in a corner of the undergraduate deans of arts and sciences' (freshman through junior) reception area. it's not too bad. there's coffee.

tv can really mess you up.

it's true. it gives everyone all these "ideas" about things. then again, if real life were on tv, it might be boring. that's disappointing. what am i saying? real people are ridiculous, and we deserve to see them on tv so we know who to avoid in the street and at parties.



this is a video my friend lizzy made. if you read her blog, sometimes it's a window into my own inner monologue. sometimes. the weather is actually really bad here though. that's one difference. but basically both of us live by the philosophy that if you like someone they should never, ever find out, even though the world doesn't work that way at all. what i'm trying to say is, we're both a little backwards and constantly optimistic and disappointed at the same time. also, i don't believe in sandals. that's another one.

everything nice that i own was purchased by somebody else

this is j.d. salinger's autobiographical statement:

"I was with the Fourth Division during the war. I almost always write about very young people."

that's it.