AUGH

i had too much coffee too close to bedtime and now all i want to do is watch my so-called life and think about how it feels to have a crush on someone when you're a teenager. it NEVER feels that way again, does it?

UPDATE: THERE IS SUCH A THING AS MY SO-CALLED LIFE FAN FICTION. DO NOT READ IT.

i don't think it's helpful to listen to interpol while reading articles by my professors, because while i'm sure that Jim Smith has some feelings regarding "Remembering Ireland's Architecture of Containment: 'Telling' Stories in The Butcher Boy and States of Fear", I'm also pretty sure that it's not ABOUT him. i'm doing fine, but maybe it's time to start avoiding music with "feelings" again just so i don't get confused.

it feels great to get back to my normal oral hygiene routine. for a while i thought maybe i had pissed off one of my roommates and they had poured salt on all my oral hygiene materials and i threw away all my floss and my mouthwash just to be sure, but then i realized that the sea salts i got a long time ago to soak my nose when i got it repierced had just spilled all over everything. i got new floss anyway. oral hygiene is really important if you want to keep your teeth for the rest of your life. vitamin c is really important if you don't want to get sick when you have papers due. preventative measures are important in general.

every time i see someone whose situation looks kind of unfortunate, i want to call my grandparents and tell them i love them because i know i will never, ever let their situation get unfortunate. but i can't tell them that, because how do you say something like that? "don't worry about aging, i got your back"? ridiculous, and disrespectful. i'm going to call my grandparents as soon as i leave this coffee ship (that was a typo, but after looking at it i decided it's kind of cute so i'm going to keep it) after finishing up one more annotation for irish fiction.

in other news, i'm kind of in the middle of something bad. two bad things, actually. one misunderstanding, personal and sort of silly, that i've been letting happen and i feel sort of obligated to inform someone about, and one possible misunderstanding/strong opinion that i accidentally catalyzed through a more personal misunderstanding based on a not really rude so much as irreverent thing i said early on in the semester. but, i have at least one other person on my side for the latter, so we'll see how it goes.

this is a poem by bucky sinister

there's an alternate universe
in which bruce wayne is poor
and i have my shit together.

actually, things are kind of awesome

my professor is taking me to a lecture about comic books. did i mention she encouraged me to write my final paper on comic books? she did.

i've talked to my mom on the phone for half an hour for the last two days in a row. i love being related to people and then figuring out that that's not the only thing you have in common.

i have a new computer. my grandfather bought it for me.

i made a resolution to dress like a complete slob until all my papers are handed in. i'm not sure why, i just did. i decided i was going to do the little kid thing and say "i want to wear this shirt and this sweatshirt and if they don't match, well, fuck you!" today i am wearing some pretty serious navy blue corduroy bell bottoms, an orange smock and a grey sweatshirt over it, which is short enough that i can put stuff in the pockets of the smock and retrieve it easily. i've never been happier.

things are o.k. so far

here is what has happened in the last couple days:
my mom and i found out that the credit union, to whom i finished making car payments this past february (no congratulations are in order, i already celebrated), sent us a COPY of the title along with a notarized lien release and sent the real title back to the DMV. this is the latest in a series of COMPLETELY NOT MY FAULT mishaps on the part of both the DMV and the credit union. in short, this is about the 4th lien release we've received and the third time the title has been transferred between them. it makes me crazy.

my computer's hard drive died on saturday night.

i walked into a door and cracked open my nose a little. it hurt pretty bad and still does a little and also looks terrible.


this is how they worked out:
someone from the credit union called today and had magically figured it out after reading all my emails again, and sent the title to my mom.

my grandpa bought me a new computer. how can i possibly express here how incredible that is, or how i feel about him, without making it seem like cause and effect?

there's nothing i can do about my nose except take pictures of it in the library on my new computer. btw - it looks a lot worse in real life than it does in that picture.

just because i need to post this all over the place

my mom tells me it's in swedish. also, make sure your volume is up.

well, i'm against it

having just seen and very much enjoyed american gangster, i'm wondering what frank lucas is doing now? writing a book? doing the talk circuit? getting honorary degrees? i wonder if any academic institution could possibly be convinced to have him as a commencement speaker. i'm pretty sure that institution will not be bc, but if it's anywhere in the tri-state area, i will go. (is massachusetts in the tri-state area? what is the tri-state area? my cousin used those words a lot this weekend but i'm not sure i know what they mean.) in conclusion, i'm really glad the gangster movie is making a big, high-budget, classy production comeback.

i also saw no country for old men. i need to see it again with someone who's willing to discuss it with me afterwards before i know how i really feel about it. jake called it a "literary" movie and let me talk about it for 15 minutes by myself before telling me he didn't want to talk about it anymore. i thought that was very generous.

this week was pretty good. jake came on monday, we did some boston things, ate hella, he met some of my friends, and then we went to thanksgiving at my grandparents' on thursday. that was pretty rad. my cousin nora, freshman at fordham, had come the day before and hung out that day and night. we walked around and got burritos; she was unable to get money out of her account, so i bought her charlie card and burrito and stuff. that made me feel good, like a real relative. nora is pretty rad and i think we could be friends even if we weren't related, if the age difference didn't stop us. what's weird is, if she wasn't mildly forgetful, she would make me feel really lame because she's pretty mature and aside from the fact that she's the size she was when she was 12 she could totally be the older one. we also saw her two older brothers, which was great - i hadn't talked to pat, one year younger than me, in maybe four years, and i didn't really on thursday, but i did talk to willie, four years younger than me, who i was pretty much best friends with when we were younger. i thought the few sentences we said to each other were pretty meaningful. also, jake did a great job, but again didn't really want to talk about it when we got home.